Your Favorite Color
by Ripuku
Summary: Soul, feeling increasingly upset over being shunted aside by Maka, decides to give her a present. "What's the matter, Maka? I thought you loved the color red." However, can it help him win her back? Or will it be too much for the both of them? Soul/Maka
1. Chapter 1

Random Angst. For the win. Don't worry, Helping Me is under construction. I promise. I just want to write this now.

999blee999

Soul grunted as the early morning light hit his face though his curtains. Damn, had he forgotten to close them _again_? Rolling over, he jerked them shut, his blanket falling off the bed in the process. The cold air hit him sharply, making goosebumps erupt across his lithe body. Instinctively, he curled into a tight ball, shivering. When it proved to be no good, he sat up and rubbed his arms. Reaching down, he grabbed the jeans he had left on the floor the previous night. Ignoring a shirt, he walked out into the kitchen of his and Maka's apartment.

At first, he wondered, half asleep, where the meister was. Then he remembered. She was out still. With _him._ Soul wouldn't even say the bastard's name. What made his blood boil was that she hadn't even come home. A sudden pain wrenched his heart. He was her best friend, her confidante, her- no. That wasn't right. He was her weapon. Her _tool._ What the hell did he deserve from her? Certainly not her affections or attentions.

"I am nothing more than a piece of equipment to her," the truth was bitter, stinging, "I don't even deserve to be treated as a human being to her."

He looked over to a table set up next the door. On it was a picture of him and Maka, back when they used to spend time together. Before _him._ Soul picked up the frame, staring at the almost unfamiliar face of his meister. He carried it to the kitchen, musing all the while. She didn't care anymore. He could probably die and she wouldn't care.

A grin twisted itself across his face, his features curling into a sick semblance of their normal 'cool'. Why couldn't he? Test her? It would be all too fun. He looked at the picture of her, sitting innocently on the counter where he had set it. Her charming smile, teasing, taunting him with something he could never have. Were weapons supposed to have feelings? He was, after all, really only a piece of sharp metal with a human form.

Tears leapt unbidden to his crimson eyes. He hadn't felt this unwanted in so long, so much a third wheel was he now. He gripped the beautiful frame so hard he could hear it start to crack. With a quick flick of his wrist, he had shattered it against the wall. Crying freely, he walked over to it and picked the picture out from under the splintered remains of the wood and glass. His gaze trailed up to the collection of knives he had bought Maka when he was trying to teach her to cook…

"_AH! Soul, its on fire! What do I do?!"_

He shook his head to clear the unwanted memories, and drew what he knew was the sharpest of them. He slowly sank to the floor, staring at his reflection in the silver blade of the knife. The twisted grin came back, though he still cried. Oh, if Maka couldn't stand to look at one scar on him, how would she feel after two? He slashed his arm as he thought it, the blade slicing deeper than most cutters dared to go. Blood poured from the wound, coating his legs and the floor. .

Three? _Slash._

Four? _Slash._

FiveSixSevenEight? _SlashSlashSlashSlash. _

Uh oh. He'd only been cutting one arm. Better do the other, otherwise Kid would freak. They weren't symmetrical. A crazed giggle escaped his lips as he evened out his work. Blood had already spattered across part of his photograph and was spreading into a crimson puddle around him. Never mind that his pants were soaked through, never mind he couldn't feel his little finger on his left hand. He heard a door distantly slam, and somehow he knew it was Maka, entering the ground floor door to the apartment building.

He swiped his arm across the right side of his face, smearing his normally snowy hair crimson, relishing the metallic taste of his own blood on his lips, the flavor enhanced by his naturally metallic being.

Steps on the stairs. Only one person.

Blood on his lips.

A giggle escaped his lips again as he heard a key jangle in the lock. His head was fuzzy now. His vision blurring. He had really cut deep, hadn't he? Oh well, he wasn't scared. He just hoped he could stay conscious long enough to see her face.

The door opened, creaked slightly, oops, he was supposed to have oiled that a week ago. Maybe she could do it with all the blood on the floor. Get some use out of it, seeing as he didn't want it anymore.

"Soul? Are you awake?"

He giggled again in response. He could hear her footsteps in the living room. She was looking for him. He couldn't wait for her to see his surprise. Too bad, though, she couldn't give it back if she didn't like it. He giggled once more.

"Soul? What are you doing? Why-" she had come into the kitchen, "SOUL?!"

"What's the matter, Maka-chan?" he rasped, his breathe coming in short gasps, "I thought you loved the color red."

"Soul?! What did you do?" she fell to her knees beside him, ignoring the blood staining her clothes and skin, "What-"

"This is for you, Maka."

"What? Soul, why would you-"

"BECAUSE OF YOU!" he roared, despite his breathlessness, "Because, -he began sobbing- because. Because I couldn't make you."

"Make me what, Soul?" she tried to get up, to try to staunch the blood pouring from his arms, but he yanked her back down.

"What am I to you, Maka Albarn? A friend? A tool? What?"

"You're my partner, Soul."

"You mean your tool."

"Don't-"

"Don't what?" his sentences were harder to force past his iron flavored lips now, "Don't say that I'm nothing but a tool who is blessed to have a human form? Don't…don't make me laugh. I did this for you, Maka. Because, I couldn't make you, no matter how much I wanted it, no matter how much I tried. I couldn't."

"You couldn't what, Soul?"

"I couldn't make…you… I couldn't make you love me."

999blee999

RAGH! I am so angsty right now! Next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

_NEXT CHAPTER! _

_999blee999_

"_I couldn't make…you…I couldn't make you love me."_

Maka stood, unmoving, next to Soul's hospital bed. His words to her before he had slumped over replayed endlessly in her mind. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the image in the kitchen out of her head. What had he been thinking? No, she knew exactly what he had been thinking. How could she have let it happen? Memories came flooding into her being, all of them instances where she should have seen what was wrong.

"_Hey, Maka? Can- can I ask you something?" _

"_Can you make it quick, Soul? I'm gonna be late."_

She should have seen the pain that flashed across his face then, but she had been so intent on leaving on time, she hadn't thought anything of it.

"_Never mind." _

And for some reason, he always waited for her. She remembered another time she hadn't returned until nine the next morning. He was sitting on the couch, staring at the door. The deep purple bruises under his eyes indicated he hadn't slept a wink that night.

"_Soul, what are you doing?_"

"_I was waiting for you to get home, obviously."_

"_Why? You didn't have to do that, Soul."_

"_Yes, yes I did. I'm a weapon, this is my job."_

"_What is? To make yourself suffer?" _she had begun to snap at him, her temper flaring in the early morning as it often did.

"_TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE SAFE, YOU DUMB BROAD!" _she remembered the agony on his face as he yelled it, _"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WORRIED I WAS WHEN YOU DIDN'T COME HOME LAST NIGHT?!?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT KIND OF WORRY DOES TO A PERSON?! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DEAD!"_

"_WELL I'M NOT, SO WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?"_

"_I hope you had a good time. I hope he can do what I can't. Leave me alone."_

She hadn't even bothered to listen to what he had said after he had slammed his door shut. She had heaved her heaviest book at the door, and began sobbing that he had spoiled her good mood.

Now she stood next to him, wishing he was awake to yell at her. She would have settled for anything at this point. Dr. Stein walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Maka, come on, you need to rest. Soul isn't going to go anywhere."

Maka shook her head. Stein shrugged and walked out of the room. She couldn't leave again. She had done it once, and Soul had nearly killed himself for it. She stood resolutely, unwilling to leave her- partner? Friend? Bile rose in her throat and tears threatened to pour from her eyes. She didn't even know who Soul was to her anymore. Was he her friend still? Or had his act condemned him to nothing more than just a senseless tool? She dropped her knees in the realization of what she had done to him. He had taken a potentially lethal blow once for her, to show her how far he was willing to go for her, and she had pushed him aside, like a piece of scrap paper. Fourteen slashes on his arms total. Fourteen times he had raised a knife to himself to show her what he felt. The _one _scar on his chest was awful enough but now that he had made the total fifteen, what was she going to do?

"Was that your intention, Soul?" she asked, "Were you trying make it painful for me to look at you? Do you want me to hurt when I look at you?"

Getting up, she pulled a chair close to him and sat, determined not to move until he awoke. She took his cold, pale hand in hers and rested her head on her arms, settling down to wait for him, just as he had waited for her when she had gone somewhere.

999blee999

Soul was floating. _Literally. _Not that he cared much. He looked down, down at her and his body. Now that was interesting. He knew he wasn't dead. Stein has gotten to him in time. He just didn't feel like waking up at the moment. He was waiting for…ah, the opportune moment. When she fell asleep and Stein came back. Yes, that would do nicely. And then he would show her how it felt to be pushed aside, to be ignored. Then he heard Maka start talking. He floated a little lower, so he could hear her.

"…sorry, Soul. Oh God am I so sorry. I should have been paying more attention. I'm so stupid." she began to cry before continuing, "I should have seen it sooner, when you took that wound for me. I honestly think you should have let me get hit, for all the good I am to you. And then for you to have to go so far. You should have told me."

"_But I did, Maka." _He snarled to her quaking form. Her head jerked up, and he grinned nastily when he realized she could both see and _hear _him. He dropped his previous plan and made a new one.

"S-soul?" she stammered, shocked beyond all belief, "But, how are you-?"

"_Outside my body? Because I don't feel like being there at the moment. That's not the point. I DID tell you how I felt, or at least, I tried, but every time I wanted to tell you, you had something so much more important to do. Like go out with _him. _God, Maka, I took a sword slash for you, and you just brush it off as an 'I owe you a solid one, buddy'. I'm not done."_

Maka snapped her mouth shut over her retort.

"_What am I, Maka?"_

"I- um- You're Soul Eater."

"_I said _what, _Maka. Not who."_

"My partner."

"_Not quite."_

"I- I-"

"_I'm a _tool, _Maka. Remember? We had this conversation, earlier."_

The image of the blood spattered kitchen and Soul in the middle of it leaped to the front of her mind. She choked back a sob and the urge to vomit again.

"_We both know it. I'm a piece of metal with a human form. I was never fit to be treated like a normal human being. You should have treated me with contempt and scorn. Not friendliness and NOT any sort of affection. Yet you did, and when I felt I needed you most, you pushed me away and left me to die."_

"You're not just a piece of metal, Soul! You're a person, just like me!"

Soul laughed out loud at her. _"My god, Maka, you _don't get it._ You've completely missed my point. And if I was just like you, I would have killed myself already, you hateful bitch."_

Maka's hands flew to her mouth as tears began streaming down her face. Soul, he couldn't mean that could he?

"_Aww, look at her cry. Don't worry, Maka, when I go back into my body, this side won't be there. You might wish it was, though. Oops, here comes Stein. Later, table-top."_

He faded back into his body as Stein walked back into the room. Maka turned to her teacher, tears still streaming unchecked down her face.

"Maka? What's the matter?" asked Stein, looking concerned.

"S-Soul," she stammered, then everything came out in a rush " His soul talked to me. Soul's soul was outside of his body and he said that I was the reason he did this. He said that he was unfit to be treated like a human being. When I said he was just like me he said he would have killed himself already if it was true. He- He called me a hateful bitch."

"Maka…" began Stein.

"But that's the funny part!" Maka was close to hysterics, "He was right! I am a hateful bitch! This is all my fault! I pushed him away from me!"

Stein's reply died on his lips as Soul began to stir on his bed. Maka turned back to him and watched fearfully. Soul's red eyes fluttered tiredly before he opened them all the way. Stein stepped up next to the bed and watched him get oriented.

"Soul? How are you feeling?"

Soul stared at the ceiling for a moment before rolling his head to look at Stein. "Tired." His voice was raspy and defeated sounding, quite unlike his soul's, which had been so full of anger.

"Maka," asked Stein, "Didn't you say his soul had been incredible angry?"

"He said that once he went back into his body, that side would disappear. But he said I would wish it hadn't."

"Hmmm." Stein thoughtfully turned the screw in his head, "Well. Soul, how do you feel about going home now?"

Soul glanced at Maka. "With her?"

Stein nodded.

"Whatever." He sat up, staring down at the bandages on his wrists. He was tired, oh, so tired. Stein helped him out of the bed, waiting as Soul regained his sense of vertigo. Maka handed him his jacket and headband, which he snatched from her, not meeting her gaze.

"I want you to take it extremely easy, Soul. No school, no missions. I am placing you under house arrest until I deem you healthy enough to leave. If I hear you've been out, I will find you and you will not like it."

"Oh goody," chuckled Soul darkly, licking his lips, "More scars."

Ignoring Maka's horrified gasp, he slowly sauntered out the door as carefully as he could, without looking like he was about to faint. The result looked like a drunk stagger, but Soul didn't care, he just kept on going.

999blee999

This was meant to be a two chapter thing, but there are too many ends I have to tie up! Oh no! Oh well, ONWARD!


	3. Chapter 3

_Ah~! I feel so accomplished with this! Don't worry all you little reader muffins! My other fics are under construction and Maka and Soul will make up! They're the main pairing, remember? _

_Here's a quick review response, since I can't respond to non-members. Everyone who reviews and has an account will be tended to personally with a response to their account! C:_

_Walrus-san~ _: Thank you for your thoughts. However, I draw from personal experience in writing this fan fiction. Perhaps ANGST isn't the best category for it, but when someone loves another person unconditionally, yes, there is that warm feeling inside of them. But when that love is unreciprocated, the cold feeling of rejection, hurt, and despair tends to overwhelm that warm flame. I know the feeling of unreciprocated love, and tried to hurt myself, though not to Soul's extent, to gain the attention of said person. True, Soul's love has been turned to perhaps a less extreme form of obsession, but that's what happens when one lets despair win, and in Soul's case, with the demon in his soul and him being _fictional, _I think it's ok. If you disagree, that's fine, but don't hate me for it.

_Iamthefivetails: _Aww~! Thank you! I'm glad you think so!

_Anon.~: _I know, he'll get better, though. I'm glad you like the imagery. C:

So, here we go!

999blee999

The walk back to the apartment was silent. Soul wove back and forth, vertigo deciding to be a bitch, but he stubbornly refused to stop. Maka walked a few feet behind him, staring at the ground, trying not to break out in tears again. She was desperately trying to figure out what his soul had meant before. When he said that the angry side would vanish. Did that mean Soul would ignore her? Or did it mean that he would be emotionless? She groaned out loud and beat her head with her fist in frustration. Soul looked back at her for a moment, before continuing on his way. Maka stood watching him for a moment, trying desperately not to cry again, and failing miserably. She began to run in the direction of home, blowing past Soul in the process.

He wobbled slightly as she brushed his arm, but kept his balance. He watched her go, tilting his head to the side slightly, a puzzled look gracing his face. Argh, now his head was getting fuzzy again. Too much thinking, he decided, and picked up his pace a little. Soon, the apartment came into view. He stopped at the outside door, wondering if Maka had locked the door to their specific apartment. A quick search of his pockets revealed that his keys were still sitting in the dish on the same table the smashed picture had once occupied. He pushed the door open and ascended the stairs.

He reached out to touch the door to the apartment and stopped. Something was off, besides the lingering feeling of the day before. Sucking in his breath, Soul pushed open the door and walked into the apartment.

Maka was nowhere to be seen at first. The living room and dining area were empty, as well as the bedrooms. Then he turned to the kitchen and saw her. She was staring down at the floor, where he had been sitting when she found him. She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. He stared back for a moment before walking into his room, and falling face first onto his bed, asleep before his face hit the pillow.

999blee999

She couldn't stop looking. Someone had come in already and cleaned up the blood, but the smell of death still lingered in the room. She knew Soul wasn't dead, but the smell of blood always smelled like death to her. Whoever had done the cleaning was very skilled at it, for there was no stain on the white linoleum. But she could still see it as if it was there. She heard Soul open the door. He didn't see her at first, but when he did, he stood there and stared at her. She didn't bother to check her tears, just looked back at him, wishing he would say something.

He didn't. He just walked into his room and shut the door. The protest and thump of his bed indicated that he had either fallen onto the bed or jumped onto it, the former being the most likely. She wanted to go check on him, but her feet were petrified, and she couldn't drag her gaze away from the floor again. The knife was gone, and so was the stain, but for some reason, the picture Soul had been holding was sitting on the counter.

'_They must have forgotten it.'_ she thought, moving over to it, hesitantly, afraid to look at it.

The picture was stained irreparably with Soul's blood, but the image was still visible. It broke her heart all over again to think that she had let go of her relationship with Soul for another boy. She wouldn't even be able to look at her boyfriend anymore without feeling guilty. She picked up the photo, ignoring the crimson flakes that fluttered down onto the counter as she did so. Oh how she wished that everything could go back to the way it had been before.

The phone rang, the shrill noise startling her. Heart racing, she walked over and answered it on its third shrill shriek.

"H-hello?" she asked.

"Maka?" came Stein's low voice, "Good, you're home. I just wanted to tell you that I want you to stay home with Soul until his house arrest is over."

"But what about my classes, Stein-sensei? I don't want to fall behind."

"Don't worry, I'll have Tsubaki bring you your work. If she can't I'll send it with your father. He'd probably like that, he's clinging to my leg right now, trying to get the phone." In the background Maka could hear her papa trying desperately to get to the phone, screaming something about talking to "his little angel who is going to be scarred for life".

"Go ahead and put him on, Stein-sensei." she inhaled deeply as she mentally prepared herself to talk to her overly devoted father.

"MAKA-CHAN!" came his shriek, Maka had to hold the phone several inches away from her ear in order to retain her hearing. She glanced nervously at Soul's door, hoping he was very much asleep at that point.

"Hi, papa," she replied quietly, "Can you please calm down a little?"

"BUT IF I DO, MAKA-CHAN WON'T KNOW HOW MUCH HER PAPA LOVES HER!!!!!"

"Papa, if you love me as much as you say, you'll have more regard for my hearing."

"AH-! Oh, sorry," then in a more serious tone, "Maka, are you doing ok?"

Maka burst into tears again. "NOOOO! Papa, I don't know what to do! Soul is acting so weird! I don't know how to talk to him, or how I should act, because I can't act like nothing even happened, but I don't want him to think I'm trying to make things better to quickly!"

"Calm down, Maka-chan. You'll get through it. What's Soul's favorite breakfast?"

"Umm…pancakes with little chocolate chips in them. And bacon…" she replied, confused by her papa's question.

"Then get up early and make that for him. If he wants to be alone for a while, you can come here for a bit. We can let him have some time for himself Ok?"

"Ok, Papa. Thank you." Maka hung up the phone, ignoring her father's resumed shouts of how much he loved her.

She turned to the cupboards and began rummaging through them, checking to make sure that she had everything to make breakfast in the morning. Taking one last look at the picture on the counter, she picked it up and carried it to her bedroom. She laid down on the bed, turned on her alarm clock, and fell asleep, still clutching the picture and fully clothed.

999blee999

The alarm blared in her ear, sooner than she expected. She was dismayed to remember that she hadn't put on pajamas the night before, but brushed the thought of quickly. She changed quickly and went out to begin breakfast.

999blee999

The sound and smell of cooking. bacon woke Soul from his slumber. He felt slightly less tired than he had the day before, except he was starving. He sat up, waited for the room to stop spinning, and stood. A quick stretch, clean pants, and he was out the door. His nose twitched and he caught the scent of warm chocolate chip pancakes. His stomach growled at the heavenly scent, before sinking.

_Crap, how was he supposed to face Maka? He was sure she was going to upset as hell, and something told him, he wasn't sure what, that they had argued. _

He racked his brains, but couldn't come up with a reason to back up his thought. He was sure he had been unconscious all the previous night. Shaking away the thought, he slowly padded into the living room and sat with a whump! onto the couch. He peeked over the edge and caught Maka glancing at him. He couldn't detect any anger, no, it was a little bit of anxiety, and…concern? Shit, just what he needed. Took her damn long enough. He looked down at his forearms, and noticed that the bandages wrapped around them needed to be changed. Damn, Stein hadn't said anything about that. As he mused, the phone rang. He looked back into the kitchen. Maka had answered it. He turned away, only to be addressed.

"S-soul? It's Stein-sensei. He says he needs to talk to you." Soul noticed a tremble in her voice, as if she was fighting back tears. He got up and snatched the phone away from her, not meeting her gaze.

"Hello?" he asked, his voice still rather gravely.

"Ah, good, I'm glad you're awake, Soul. I just needed to address the changing of your bandages."

"Yeah, thanks for telling me about this yesterday. Do I need to come in today?" he asked, his voice full of sarcasm.

"No, actually, I slipped everything into your jacket pockets before you left. Maka will help you. If you manage to ask that is." Soul could hear him chuckle slightly, and immediately became annoyed.

"You, sneaky, manipulative bastard."

"Oh, I know." replied Stein, still laughing, and hung up.

Soul slammed the receiver down, and stormed over to his coat, hanging on it's hook. He reached into the pockets and pulled out the rolls of gauze, salve, and bandages he somehow hadn't noticed the day before.

"Bastard."


End file.
